ᴏᴡɴ ᴍʏ ᴍɪɴᴅ

Marlie here <3 !!

''𝙳𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍?''

-ᴍÅɴᴇꜱᴋɪɴ

why. JUST WHY.

It's the third night I've dreamt of [REDACTED] so vividly. He's usually with this girl he called 'love' and someone I end up picking his interest and talks to me, so sweetly. Just like the version of [REDACTED] that I love.

And usually I would love to think of him. I mean, he's the first and last thing on my mind everyday-

But I'm tired.  So tired. I want to love Heiwa. I already told y'all she's nice. But sometimes we clash. And she wants to call me everytime. And chat daily and sometimes I don't have the energy for that and she feels bad and so I feel bad because she feels bad and-

It's fucking draining.

But still, I try to thin of a future with her and not with [REDACTED] because I know that's the right thing to do. But I can't. I just can't.

He owns my mind and I don't even know why. Everyone tells me he's so ugly and others tell me I only like him because he has a good body, but I love his face and his voice, and the way he makes me feel.

I want to be owned by him. But at the same time I don't. I don't even know if he's into that!

He's not special. He's always late. He ignores me and leaves me in delivered. He has a lot of women gooning to him. He doesn't love me.

YET WHY DO I FEEL SO ATTACHED!?!?!?!??!?!??

I hate this. I want him to love me for me to love him back. 
I don't want to beg. (I really want to beg)

Did you guys know that I talk to him in three different ways on his anon q&a?? I always ask three different things and write in three different ways, also check that the time is spaced between every message.

I love to do that.

I love to see what he posts both on his stories and his status.

I love him. I wish I didn't.

Everything is so complicated...

Why did I had to fall for an older guy? a TWELVE YEARS OLDER guy. 

I don't even know him!!!!!!! (I would really love to, though)

I've been working on two characters that reflect us with our same inicials and everything, to draw them together <3

They have a puppy/master relationship at home on certain, specific times, but the rest of the time they go on cute romantic dates that have nothing to do with the kinky stuff, (although in my mind it's mostly dirty talk, not really kinky full puppy play-?) And the best part of this is that the character that represents me is closer to his age, so I don't feel bad by shipping them. They have so nice designs!

But I won't be showing it on here because I don't really like other people seeing my art, sorry-!

I think those are all the things I wanted to say today-

Nope, this is an edit: I just check and his rising sign is the same sign as my dad's... probably that's why I like him...

SECOND EDIT: HIS FIRST NAME IS ALSO THE SAME AS MY DAD'S SECOND NAME WTF-

 

Marlie Out <3!!!