"𝙸'𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚋𝚒𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚕 , 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚗𝚘𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚖𝚎"
-ᴍɪᴛꜱᴋɪ
I wanna start this rant with a question: Why do people leave me?
Lately I've noticed that my very dear friend/wifey started talking to me less and less. And I've gotten more anxious about it...
Like, at first she sent me about 47 tiktoks a day and I would answer to alllllll of them because I love her (I don't do this with anybody else, she's the only one I don't ignore) and we would chat a lot every day, every moment, every hour and now I feel she's slipping away from my touch
I cracked my head trying to think what did I did wrong. Maybe I didn’t see one video? Maybe I didn't answer on time? (She did say that didn't bothered her at all tho, but she could be lying) but I couldn't find nothing that would point to me doing something bad.
I'm honestly really scared of confronting her about this. What if this is the breaking point that make us fall apart?
What are we gonna do with our rolplay characters and stories? Who am I gonna spend the evening with? Who am I gonna tell my stupid ahh jokes?
I feel really bad honestly. I want to puke my feelings away, but I'm afraid of purging food ( ＞Д＜；)
I've been talking to Cube about similar themes. He's been going through similar experiences (although he's more uhhh violent-?? Angry-? About his situation. More defensive. I'm really weak emotionally even though I try to seem strong)
It's not my first time being abandoned though. That's why I'm scared. Because I know the symptoms and how being replaced starts.
I know I've been in Heiwa's life for a short time (about three months) but I really cherish her. I love her. I want to make her happy, to be her loyal puppy, the one she confides in.
It's probably my fault tho that she's drawing away. I've been really depressed lately and can't seem to make me do anything related to people, or something that doesn't involve using my phone.
I want to rip my skin off. This thing has me very anxious as I previously stated. (´Д` )
She's the first one that I feel that really loves me for me and not my body, that she LOVES me. Doesn't lust over my curves and pieces of fat on my chest.
I love my girl Heiwa (o´д｀o)
Marlie Out <3!!!
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